This is going to be so serious, you may wanna wear your serious denims for this post. Or not. I had been ruminating on a thought that is close to my heart and that I strongly believe in, which is feminism. I have often been called one and sometimes spat on with this word. Feminism is a dirty word. It is , it is it is IT IS.
Anecdotal evidence: Recently I was in a women's network meet up where we were asked to raise our feminine hands if we identified ourselves as feminists. And my small hairy hand proudly shot up. My brain and heart were racing with adrenalin-induced pride, making my inner thoughts scream out loud, " YES I am with my people, this is where I hang, these are going to be my best friends (salivating)".
But to my surprise, nay horror, I was one of the 4 females who had raised our hands and the other 3 were the very reluctant ones. A dark shadow of fear fell over my face. Like the very next moment I would say good bye to mother earth and take my rightful place in hell. A slight tremor of doubt followed by a slightly bigger tremor of self doubt, raced across my brain. I wondered if my ears had not received the meaning of the question uttered in an Irish accent (have I become that American?!) or does feminism have a different meaning in the Oxford dictionary! Have I been looking up words in Urban dictionary all along!!? These moments of self doubt are harder to conquer than mt. Everest in my opinion but then again I am no Edmund Hillary. He must have had no self doubt hence he made the conquest and also because he is a man who did not need to look feminism up in his days, I assume. There were 30 women in the meet up FYI.
The shame that women feel when they have to stand up for another is not only incredible but makes me extremely uncomfortable. I have started following the path of no-judgement but such situations bring out the crazy in me. I refuse to understand the lack of empathy for a fellow woman in distress. I understand that a Utopian world would have HE for SHE and SHE for HE kind of balance but until then my dear ladies London bridge IS falling down, on our heads , everyday, in a big pile!
Feminism according to me is supporting, nurturing, standing up for women and believing in the existence of female human species. That they exist and that they should exist and have equal rights and be allowed to think for themselves. This is what I realized and understood growing up. When the hell did your definition get screwed up? Which route did you end up taking , when we all had decided to set out for equalville?? Why are you calling feminism as being man hating, talkative, bossy and a bitch?!
And if you call another feminist a hoarse hag or a bitch I am gonna slap you with the following transcript of my comedy idol Tina Fey. She did this bit with another great, Amy Poehler on SNL. Read and enjoy and learn something, anything! Note: this was in context to Hillary Clinton's candidacy for the president's post in 2008 and how some people did not like her because she was a "cut throat bitch".
Tina Fey:Then, there is the scrutiny of her physical appearance. Rush Limbaugh, the Jeff Conaway of right wing radio, said that he doesn't think America is ready to watch their president "turn into an old lady in front of them." Really? They didn't seem to mind when Ronald Reagan did that.
I think what bothers me the most is when people say that Hillary is a bitch. And, let me say something about that: Yeah, she is! And so am I! And so is this one! [ she points to Amy Poehler ]
Amy Poehler: Yeah, deal with it!
Tina Fey: You know what? Bitches get stuff done. That's why Catholic schools use nuns as teachers and not priests! Those nuns are mean old clams, and they sleep on cots and they're allowed to hit you! And, at the end of the school year, you hated those bitches, but you knew the capital of Vermont! So, I'm saying it's not too late, Get on board! Bitch is the new black!
Anecdotal evidence: Recently I was in a women's network meet up where we were asked to raise our feminine hands if we identified ourselves as feminists. And my small hairy hand proudly shot up. My brain and heart were racing with adrenalin-induced pride, making my inner thoughts scream out loud, " YES I am with my people, this is where I hang, these are going to be my best friends (salivating)".
But to my surprise, nay horror, I was one of the 4 females who had raised our hands and the other 3 were the very reluctant ones. A dark shadow of fear fell over my face. Like the very next moment I would say good bye to mother earth and take my rightful place in hell. A slight tremor of doubt followed by a slightly bigger tremor of self doubt, raced across my brain. I wondered if my ears had not received the meaning of the question uttered in an Irish accent (have I become that American?!) or does feminism have a different meaning in the Oxford dictionary! Have I been looking up words in Urban dictionary all along!!? These moments of self doubt are harder to conquer than mt. Everest in my opinion but then again I am no Edmund Hillary. He must have had no self doubt hence he made the conquest and also because he is a man who did not need to look feminism up in his days, I assume. There were 30 women in the meet up FYI.
The shame that women feel when they have to stand up for another is not only incredible but makes me extremely uncomfortable. I have started following the path of no-judgement but such situations bring out the crazy in me. I refuse to understand the lack of empathy for a fellow woman in distress. I understand that a Utopian world would have HE for SHE and SHE for HE kind of balance but until then my dear ladies London bridge IS falling down, on our heads , everyday, in a big pile!
Feminism according to me is supporting, nurturing, standing up for women and believing in the existence of female human species. That they exist and that they should exist and have equal rights and be allowed to think for themselves. This is what I realized and understood growing up. When the hell did your definition get screwed up? Which route did you end up taking , when we all had decided to set out for equalville?? Why are you calling feminism as being man hating, talkative, bossy and a bitch?!
And if you call another feminist a hoarse hag or a bitch I am gonna slap you with the following transcript of my comedy idol Tina Fey. She did this bit with another great, Amy Poehler on SNL. Read and enjoy and learn something, anything! Note: this was in context to Hillary Clinton's candidacy for the president's post in 2008 and how some people did not like her because she was a "cut throat bitch".
Tina Fey:Then, there is the scrutiny of her physical appearance. Rush Limbaugh, the Jeff Conaway of right wing radio, said that he doesn't think America is ready to watch their president "turn into an old lady in front of them." Really? They didn't seem to mind when Ronald Reagan did that.
I think what bothers me the most is when people say that Hillary is a bitch. And, let me say something about that: Yeah, she is! And so am I! And so is this one! [ she points to Amy Poehler ]
Amy Poehler: Yeah, deal with it!
Tina Fey: You know what? Bitches get stuff done. That's why Catholic schools use nuns as teachers and not priests! Those nuns are mean old clams, and they sleep on cots and they're allowed to hit you! And, at the end of the school year, you hated those bitches, but you knew the capital of Vermont! So, I'm saying it's not too late, Get on board! Bitch is the new black!
Watch it if you like:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHnL8mUbopw
Anyway,
I can understand the decision to not voice out any opinion on anything but to selectively only be ashamed of being called a feminist or being scared to take any decision that might label you as one, is befuddling. I silently judge those. All of them.
So let us try to deconstruct why it is such a taboo to be identified as a feminist. Its almost akin to being a witch. If witches were hunted and killed in the past, the feminists are thrown dirty looks like they are going to enter your house and eat the portion of your chubby kid's food. No we are not! We have food too! We have chubby kids too. May be you think feminists would take away men's rights or they wont make docile wives or they will refuse to reproduce or worse they will stop applying make up and be ugly! I understand and sympathize with these concerns but really all this wonderful word and its definition entails is :
that we solemnly, politely and non intrusively fight for equal rights like right to education, right to vote, right to marry, right to financial independence, right to inheritance and right to breathe.
If you see a sister in trouble, you be a good woman and rush to her for help. Don't you turn your beautiful face away! And if a reporter comes , make sure you say I am a damn proud feminist. No seriously say it like you mean it!
Future: Being an optimist I feel the world is not too far away where everyone is equal. The words like feminism would become obsolete and archaic as they wont hold any meaning. And then perhaps and only then will I accept that Feminism is a bad forgotten word.
Anyway,
I can understand the decision to not voice out any opinion on anything but to selectively only be ashamed of being called a feminist or being scared to take any decision that might label you as one, is befuddling. I silently judge those. All of them.
So let us try to deconstruct why it is such a taboo to be identified as a feminist. Its almost akin to being a witch. If witches were hunted and killed in the past, the feminists are thrown dirty looks like they are going to enter your house and eat the portion of your chubby kid's food. No we are not! We have food too! We have chubby kids too. May be you think feminists would take away men's rights or they wont make docile wives or they will refuse to reproduce or worse they will stop applying make up and be ugly! I understand and sympathize with these concerns but really all this wonderful word and its definition entails is :
that we solemnly, politely and non intrusively fight for equal rights like right to education, right to vote, right to marry, right to financial independence, right to inheritance and right to breathe.
If you see a sister in trouble, you be a good woman and rush to her for help. Don't you turn your beautiful face away! And if a reporter comes , make sure you say I am a damn proud feminist. No seriously say it like you mean it!
Future: Being an optimist I feel the world is not too far away where everyone is equal. The words like feminism would become obsolete and archaic as they wont hold any meaning. And then perhaps and only then will I accept that Feminism is a bad forgotten word.
